king of kings

From bullied to beautiful thus sadness brings screams

cry for help but convoke tears when a beauty queen turns fiend

Her smile shines dark but transmutes nightmares to dreams

heart gold with a lost crown made for a king of kings

Success lays within dreams to trade crystals for ambition 

I must break free from hatred and a family addiction....

or at least find success and break my families tradition 

Guns and Overdoses

I gave her my best efforts of love,
but our sadness exposes a failure
Times are hard when you live life rough
I sit alive as long as one sits chambered

Bruised knuckles add to a broken heart
Survived poverty but done folks dirty
Bipolar emotions nullify my part
While her actions scream mystery

She stole my breath so I took her pain away
but I love like razor blade roses
Right path, wrong METHod smoking our life away

The life style of guns and overdoses

Mama Matt Loves You

Mama please don't take these guns from me

Art of war so I'll kill to protect our right to be free

Mental ward visits to your son, broken heart, team 5150

A love never lost since '87, Maury Regional 7 a.m, Colombia Tennessee

Me you always loved, when no other woman would

Although they saw a monster, you saw a man misunderstood

Through triumph or tragedy you always held my hand

Together from bullets to bottles you helped me stand

Life in the fast lane has me knocking on heavens door

Outside and hungry, mama don't cry poverty's painful but I'm undefeated at war

Victory awaits, preach peace through my poems, within my words I'll live forever

Everything from mamas boy to a protector, don't forget me as a gladiator

Saved one story but I'll tell you now that I'm older

Years ago in Iraq, I held my gun to my head so the pain could just be over

Option selected, you stopped suicide from claiming this soldier

Understand mama, it was you sitting there...the angel on my shoulder

               

                                                     

Tears of War

Tears of the sun leave wounds of war

They fired first but we fired more

4 soldiers, 9 rounds, 3 bodies

Wars a deadly game with a fatal score

To some we are killers and a few call us heroes 

They say we didn't lose but we feel far from winners

No after parties, no bonus checks, only secrets and admissions

Conscious of decisions, pain turns into various addictions

Post traumatic injuries destroy any rest or relaxation

Post war lessons teach hard, unwillingly continuing our education 

Profane, plea or pray nothing takes our guilt or nightmares

From heroes to forgotten holding only loyalty and pain 

More hurt, no home, hoping america remembers our name

Tear's from a .45

A pathetic tear lands into the barrel of my .45

As her honesty determines if I live or die

Love leans lethal, concurrently, honesty turns crucial

She loves me or she loves me not, anticipation so brutal

Suicide stops all opportunity for answers

One life lost from one lie, fatal for 2 romancers

Poisoned by drugs they destroyed true love

Hurt held the gun, pain pulled the trigger, his heart had enough

Worldly hate haunts me with a heart attack

But the drugs deter my depression

Face up, coffin shut, laid back

While love teaches everyone my final lesson.

Her Truth

In life who carries our guilt or shame

Never us, when others are present to blame

Call truth a lie, its still true under a different name

I refuse to piss on people and then call it rain

I hold my part of failure and pay my part of the cost

I'm ashamed for losing my path and loving til I was lost

But her part is something I will not continue to ignore

So here's the list of things I will always blame her for:

The glimpse of innocence she still sparkles

True love that shined me away from darkness

Her compassion that kept me from turning heartless

The patience I gained from wondering in her absence

Her eyes of an angel that showed me a glimpse of heaven

The confidence she caused me that gave me ambition

Her future success that gave me something to believe in

Her mind crowded so rumors left no room for me, only crucifixion

But still I rise with faith in my angel, because shes my true religion

Take me Away

Born into a cold world then left on my own

Burned alive in a place where we all called home

Heart grows fonder as distance grows further

Killed with kindness but your love makes murder

Crazy in love to both lovers gone crazy

She left me as we both lessened the love lately 

She used a razor to write love on her arms

Ingested so many drugs 'til her mind was gone

Drenched in lies then soaked in their hate 

Safety is a buck short and I'm a dollar too late

Cry a million tears for the tragedy I take

Her distortion of reality is pain past prorate

Bullets of betrayal impact into my chest

My mothers angel deviated to a bloody mess

Welcoming my demise, for death I hold no fear

Pray, scream, or cry just take me away,

 take me away from here

His Freedom

They left him to die alone                                                        

With emotions tied to only pain                                             

Pride is all lost like his home and bed                                   

Only memories of their betrayal remain                                

War has no end he's still fighting but only in his head        

His life is losing but he refuses to give up                                         

Loser is reserved for those who've already lost                                 

Holding onto honor, effort remains inside every breath                 

Many bridges burned and many more to be crossed                        

He fights further from failure but dangerously close to death        

Too many memories of beat down and broken                     

Too many mistakes accepted as misfortune                          

You ignore his requests for work and help                            

The man who went to war and stood in your spot                

The man who went to hell for the freedoms your dealt       

Now holding pain because that's all that hes got                  

 

He gave you his sleep, he took your tears, he traded you his future

But you refuse to employ him, feed him or somehow help him

So when you sleep in what could have been his home...

              don't forget to enjoy his freedom

Life goes on

<\3

They ignore the truth and tell me that life goes on

Petty protection to keep a suicidal subject calm

Confusion and questions, will anyone even mourn?

Pull the trigger on my pain,  I wish wasn't born

.

You call me controlling and caught me on crazy

Far from a piece of thinking but considered a dope story

Betrayed my emotions and provoked my pride

I know your hearts frozen but mines dying inside

.

Made me the monster but you fabricated my crime

Materialistic morals with ethics carelessly crystalline

Perfectly perfidious, you played me every time

But put virtue before beauty, you're a buck short of a dime

.

Truth be told I wish you well and miss the time of ours

Just remember to reach for success and don't stop at the stars

If opportunity won't knock then kick down their doors

Time might be holding success but the future is yours

</3

Outdated Optimism

The south taught me sleep is the cousin of death

So my eyes stay open methodically exhaling dragons breath

Depression catches me as I fight for my freedom

Death steals my friends but they say God is with them

Life is good just keep your head up and stay positive 

Remember the road to happiness isn't always definitive 

The life I live is portrayed far less then heavenly 

I defy your God, deny your law, but don't falsify my charity 

I've seen the sunshine and almost drowned in the rain 

Landed on my knees in front of God exhausted from pain

Hit rock bottom then spit my blood onto the ground

Picked my head up and smiled cause Nothing can keep me down

Freedom Outlaw

These visions I have are determined dark

Gory gift of my body twisted outlined in chalk

Safety never an option as a combat vet

Nightmares see suicide as I drown within my own sweat

Who should grasp the guilt as the killer

The unsophisticated soldier or his gluttonous government

One trigger squeeze left a lifetime of murdered memories 

And left my heart homeless with no chance of atonement 

War created a monster from life, that love once built

Present days see shameful eyes that cry tears of guilt

Compassion is lost as murder is masked

Most of me died with him, belittled and beaten by the blast

Your freedom comes at a unmeasurable price

While you enjoy life this solider took his own twice

Victory is a vice and killing is always wrong

Deny their demands, freedom is found but only as an outlaw

FTP

Caged as a criminal for using violence to promote peace
Can't silence freedom so we still scream fuck the police
L.a gun shots and a beach city with too many corrupt cops
Don't fear a badge because when my fists fly someone drops
Never trust a man because all men can lie
Never fear a man because every man can die
Cops talk down to us like we weren't created equal
Searching for balance like Christopher Darner the sequel
Better practice your roll and keep it to protect and serve
Cause you won't pass a bullet test if they don't grade on a curve

Seen More Then Enough

11 months in Iraq til' the day I die, I won't take off my vest
6 years to the army, giving more then my perception of best
They kicked me while I was down, so my cup spilled half empty
Pessimistic walking around painting myself as my worst enemy
Rough years I learned badges aren't bullet proof but neither am I
I stay away from jail, death before dishonor, I'd rather die
People had me painted as hero but updated me to a criminal
Product of my situation but I stay a man of principal
No help when I was  hungry, homeless and heartbroken
Never hid my dirty laundry and kept my heart wide open
I haven't seen it all but I've seen more then enough
Overwhelmed by hate so now I'm searching for love

Freedomless

I'm watching my tears fall grasping the pistol to my head

Reminiscing on good deeds now eroded wondering if I'm better off dead

Bleeding out my one last tear for a broken southern promise

Crying my one last drop of blood from my lonely carcass

How can a man be so evil to deserve the life I lead

How am I a criminal if for freedom my blood was shed

I sleep the sounds of death and screaming from my sergeants

The same screams that results me hiding behind narcotics

Flashbacks of fear that contradict the loving words that I've said

Unable to retrieve a job but I'm no stranger to bleeding for bread

Years of a rough life had visions of turning me heartless

I've cried many tears and spent many years searching inside of my own darkness

Empty Emotions

She didn't want me to hold her, so I had to let her go
Poverty into hospitality, still sleeping on the floor
I went fishing for a break but I only caught a charge
Trappin' to survive, awaiting a less than general discharge

Empty wallet and an empty stomach, destined to fail
Haunted with no luck, they wouldn't even feed me in jail
No heaven in sight, it must be a lifetime away
Hell more than visible, I see it everyday

Trying to feed my family with empty promises
But I can't even feed my self worth any confidence
Called me a bad man but I wish for a better life
Misery loves company, so pain became my wife

Stuck in reality where the sun is always sleeping
Show a smile but my tears are lost within shadows weeping
Focus on the hunger to forget a broken heart
Never would have let you go, if I could go back to the start

Homeless Heroes

Preached about peace through my own eyes of war
Empty words on deaf ears from delusions of grandeur
Paranoia and nightmares lead me to lose control
Actions that kill to protect my already dead soul
Peacekeepers paid to protect political cowards
After evil men graduated from puppets to towers
Fighting from the front line I was far from the fortunate son
America ostracized me shortly after my mission was done
Their broken promises created many a broken heart
A man no longer human just sadly seen as a spare part
Sacrifice separates the real and fake from the very start
Homeless heroes hold no honor only spoils of war inside of a shopping cart