left for dead 2

Lonely reminiscing, portray past pictures of outlawed actions hopeless yet artful
Equally relevant, present reality complicates situation, too empty but sorrow full
From self improvement without optimism, substituted by immoderate medication,
To a product of environment manipulated by morals, survival seen in a separation
*
Freedom lost, imprisoned by a conscience that creates you as the criminal
Obdurate pain, disdained soldiers learn lessons of loss viewed despicable
Resentment, yet the fallen find peace and freedom with actions amendable
*
Destination dignity, decrepit every night with no future in sight just death by disquietude
Enough bloodstains, our emotions voided from your empty gratitude
Arise as rebels against evil, government turns tyrant, time and time again
Don't trust history, if good always win, the good don't die young, no morals in the politics leading our men

NO time in your REALITY

holding a knife in my back yet all i see is a smile my incomprehensible reality
too much training to die from this enclosed by shadows within my dark abyss
bury me in Tennessee existence criss-crossed mind is lost nothing to reminisce
poor in my pocket lifelong tragedy in a society without love a moral bankruptcy 
*
Illuminati the new world order we should all be looking over our shoulder
if good ol' boys rise again morals regained only within a southern takeover
president look at history why won't our government save us from poverty
trust should be perceived as actions haphazardly but I'm 5150 a.k.a crazy
*
the voices inside my head never stop screaming sending actions portrayed as pro anarchy
fight for peace search for change extraterritoriality protects moral cowards in my mentality
real words real life integrity as a formality new place same face for honor holds hospitality
morals aren't made by Hollywood or virtual reality you must create your own compassion
don't stop life has no script become your own director life's ready get set it's time for action

Indelible Outlaw

sick of being a failure my own integrity does me wrong

unerringly forgotten like modern morals dead and gone

tired and dirty but washed out like a washed up outlaw

straight A student this can't be what my mama foresaw

*

I've always took care of others maybe why I'm left with nothing

heartbroken by multiple lovers I'm crazy possessed by suffering

there's few things that can't be made agreeable to end your pain

people cursed me as under stable twisted vice versa I overcame

*

11 months of bullets and bombs but I still keep my breath

unseen battle scars show serious symptoms of a sociopath

guilty of a solution to survive in a post traumatic aftermath

"feel forever free no bars in a casket" etch it on my epitaph

Death before Dishonor

all of these explicit images from the war have pictured me as heartless

but find beauty in a painted portrait of pain created from a blind artist

these soft spoken, yet sharp words impact like bullets into your chest

lungs lose breath heart meets death, we're consumed by my darkness

*

my misled mind makes less of the men we mistake as mortals

as my M-4 is still making a mess of more men missing morals

concise crimes continue my conscience to venture into circles

dirigible direction portray path as lost in life absent of miracles

*

no response needed you do not owe me an apology

don't judge me superficially just learn the psychology 

can't calm down I only see death around the corner

take my gun leave my legacy death before dishonor

No WAR

i remain faithful married to pain til death do us part living without sanity
they can't keep my memories for that's the only thing i left for my family
long night at grave site, tears fall onto the tombstone no loss just jealousy
defended freedom violently, take my life but my rifle will die concurrently
*
find beauty inside of pain then you are found to be beautiful
compassion in a time of war, not labeled love but delusional
war is pain, knowledge is power, murder is never excusable
i KNOW WAR my evidence is post traumatically irrefutable

Death at a Decline

envision me surrounded by sadness heard you hold onto happiness

I don't want to die like this but its my heart dying call it quits

your gone but i reminisce went from lover to nemesis

my death I only see benefits left me with emptiness

I'm still breathing not dead but the shoe does fit

you're leaving pain gone suicide permit

life lonely I'm safe as a hermit

I've already lived

now I'm done 

with

it

*

Reaching Against Predictable Endings

this depression weighs heavier then a blood soaked cloak from Jesus
write traumatic violence wrong direction my life creates perfect thesis
feel life slipping away gasping for a freedom drowning within my guilt
invisible dark addiction and violence that my chosen path lonely built
*

life has drained my energy no more motivation to be hyper-masculine
behind broken compassion no empathy pain shoved into my abdomen
"baby its cold outside" on these "summer nights" life forced aggression
hidden problems blamed on war but longer behavior of self destruction

*
no more room available for jackets my closet is overrun by skeletons
no more love on premises lost from my pain or surrounding elements
medicated moments where everyone is happy but my own conscience
deserved every bit of this pain learned that since days of adolescence

Heart Expired Love Lost

hard to distinguish if these are fictitious nightmares or merely memories

fall asleep with futile friends to awaken surrounded by justified enemies

alone against this world in a search for survival within a hierarchy of hate

decide your own destiny or add yourself a victim to a foreshadowed fate

*

blind to integrity if vision is lost in lies, no truth to see so I scratch out my own eyes

to Iraq and then back into a terrified society where a tear drops from silenced cries

man of peace yet I am forced to fight another war inside of my own deranged head

I kill my tragic memories view me a killer or hero but some words better left unsaid

*

something is wrong with me, I'm dangerous, but please don't leave me alone

words turn useless, like government intentions help spoken but never shown

confused I put war before college, discipline to honor just sign the documents

conscience can't contain consequence suicide by post traumatic incompetence

*

from feeling focused and outspoken, to too many lost chances hopeless and heartbroken 

tragedies comfort like a winters song, no casualties seen as right for war is always wrong

God’s bring belief and belief brings war, consider compassion only idea worth fighting for

perspiring pain soaks in blood forever, a death less lonely because pain and I die together

*

deny fear from disbandment of motivation war has no distraction only morals missing in action

hour glass is expiring waiting for life to end, peace is an idea incapable for U.S. to comprehend

define crazy, home turns into a war zone, nothing is safe, sun doesn't shine to reason unknown

in the mist of hell standing is a man left broken, with a tear in his eye signifying his last emotion