Serene

A shower of lonely tears fall from an addict
Self evaluation but stuck on one question
What have I become then lost in a life left imperfect
Yearning to love but fulfilling actions that contradict

Shooting venom into my own veins
All visions of happiness look deranged
Am I a stranger if I appear strange,
or just a victim of the way things change

Alone surrounded by people some refer to as fiends
I did you wrong in a world of broken crowns and lost kings
I'd give my life to rewind and change almost everything
but I'm a needle too late just lower my casket into sorrow, so serene

I'll Sleep Without It

Picture me with a pipe in hand just poor and paranoid
Abstaining from the law while hungry hurts so does unemployed
Dirty dancing with the devil left lives lost and people destroyed
We trip on life, to find a fit, to fill a feeling of void

Fate paints a portrait of life's irony as torn and tragic
Scholar to soldier while a criminal sinks into an addict
Told my mama it'll be OK but in my heart I really doubt it
Lost integrity to save her tears I guess I'll just sleep without it

War Is Tragic, Soldier Turns Addict

Sleep sings me no song it only shares a black rose

Nightmares overcome dreams where it rains it pours,

My attempt to inject a cure turned out to be a virus, 

As I try to stay alive or at least open my eyelids 

Suicide would suit me but I leave my life up for fate,

Needled for my last breath would be merely a mistake

War in Iraq to addiction, both colored my life tragic

I'm back at war but with addiction, soldier no more, just another addict.

Memory of Matter

Misery left in red ink for the murder she wrote,

because its my miserable heart left behind and broke.

Rain inside my head brings a teardrop from my eye,

Remembering her parting words, please don't let us die.

She might forget me but I will never forget her,

Or the lessons of love that exposed me as an amateur.

Mistakes don't make a man its the decisions thereafter,

so I'm going back to college to clean up my selfish disaster.

Memories make me smile but don't make time go any faster,

I'll use this time to change so the perfect life is mine to capture.

I'll keep her close like the front wheels of a big green tractor,

on a farm in Tennessee, keeping true to what really matters.

Hero turned Villain

Broken hearted it's my time to get out of here
Stuck in a trap but I won't last another year
Took my benefits cause government don't love me
left alone fighting hopeless, but at least deaths free

Label me insane but I hold good intentions
No love but I refrain from heartless decisions 
Traumatic flashbacks from past OIF missions
I write cause when a soldier speaks pain no one listens

Death is all that's around me their horrible visions
Escape with drugs cause I've tried all their prescriptions
Don't picture me now just remember me back then
And remember the story, of how a hero turned villain

Fate Blacksout

Left me lonely thinking they knew what I was bout
Tears fall on my lap as the needle draws out
I push in a plunger for another brownout
I wish for change but I'm injected with doubt

Was part of a family but they must have forgot
But I still remember all the lessons they taught
Even though I must sell drugs with no chance or way back
I smile knowing I was a hero in Iraq

They left me with medals and the spoils of war
Lonely without breath this soldiers on the floor
Pain and addiction, no options at my door
Saw success within my reach but not anymore