back to needle again

after i lost my baby I aint into taking losses
from hopeless romantic to alone and heartless
i aint the one, trust that, my mind is full of monsters
no level i wont take it to,  no matter what the costs is
learn a lesson from a man taught by tragedy
Before you provoke the demons locked inside me

Sober

 whole life ive been fucked up

thinking i could live without you

treating you like my worst enemy

clarity comes the only opposition is me

they said be sober and youll be happy

truth be told aint no happiness left for me

earned and killed for my respect

taxes created a killer,  whatd you expect?

love me during war but after just neglect

traded my life for minimum wage check

with the idea i was sent to protect

my past paints a painful picture

taught by tragedy, agony is my architect  

R.I.P say a prayer

 say a prayer for me say a prayer for me

actually dont waste your breathe on me

not like you ever made life fair for me

R.I.P to all the fucks I gave

just look at the monster you've made

no love for soldiers when wars over

self medicate, pains too real sober 

perfect sucide day

 3 bottles of pills, 5th of whiskey, half a 12 pack of beer

loaded pistol of PTSD, flag in hand my time is near

put my uniform on, cause today's my last day 

perfectly painted my portrait of pain this way

Shayna

 every shot in my vein is another step 

past the pain but that much closer to death

memories haunt me but they call it surviving

living or dying see me still stuck suffering

mistake's help mold you ,just don't let them define you

never leave anyone behind, love see's it through

the frustration is crippling the guilt will blind you

emotionally bleeding, a lonely rendezvous

all I know is hopeless, a feeling I'm used to

promised I'd never leave, but what does a coward do

turns his back on the best friend and love he ever knew

then he preaches about integrity,and staying true

but holds none, cause he turned his back on himself too

honor, integrity,respect everything he knew

all became lost, I lost it all... when I lost you

betrayal is a double edged sword

you can not betray someone 

without betraying yourself too

Never alone with my firearm on me

  never alone but i'm always lonely

crazy so i keep a firearm on me

guess you can blame war for what it done to me

wont get got by the same people that paid me

find out I don't play about my people 

turn your block into Baghdad the sequel

more strength, more power, more support

but anytime there’s combat, that’s my home court

Theory unKind

freedom is hopeless for those trapped in their mind

don't enter my head my monsters play unconfined

don't follow my foot prints I follow a path blind

suffer the sounds of screams within an unsound mind

my sadness turns into sounds of screaming so real

sometimes i sit alone trying not to feel

tragedy turns facts inside the theory of mind

only theory they taught was to kill our own kind

Heaven Haunts with a Heavy Heart.

 Woke up screaming, bitterly sad and alone.

Same emptiness and heartache, comfortably known.

Screaming from the fear or to break the silence?

15 years later... still haunted by same murders and violence.

Sadness hurts always, you're never alone

 Saved me but told everyone it was for yourself

heart broken but I wasn't worth your breath

ain't right the hand you was dealt

you may never know the way I felt

never understand the reasons I had to leave

a fucked up choice and  I'll never forgive me

Hate for you to understand me more

 hate for you to have to leave your home

future paused to fight in a combat zone

surrounded by people but feel all alone

just to make it back for folks see your gone

hate for you to kick in that first door

flat line a family, run up the score 

this is why you sent me here to war

to carry the sins you wont answer for

kept the future I had paused too long

every thought telling me I was wrong

168 hrs/week not wanting to live anymore

hate for you to reap these benefits of war