Snakes

 its been 2 years and a day since i lost my father

went from 6 months sober to fuck it why do i bother

betrayal beats me up while my own mind holds me down

dealt a dirty hand when you can't trust a single soul around

just cause you give your heart away don't mean they give one back

has me thinking my biggest regret was not dying in Iraq

many years spent running from my pain and towards a sack

lost love and self control from some paranoiac panic attacks

fight,cry suffer but nothing will bring you or him back

end of story guess theres no return for this mack

homeless, heartbroken and hopeless my mistakes

survivals slim in a world  with no people just 2 legged snakes

Suicide Stalks Me

    suicide stalks me     like an enemy soldier.

all tactics failed can't find concealment or cover.

  leave no man behind, why am I alone brother?

            lost love leads to my last breath,

                       the war is finally 

                                over.

found freedom inside a 9mm

 let me go let me go tonight

all i do is wrong but i know you're right

heartbreak is heavy I wish you could save me

but my time is near just hold me baby

push people away so he wont hurt them

his love is toxic his pain is crippling

life of good intentions heres the outcome

without guilt or pain no emotions for him

shot up the enemy and drugs

neither of which brought me any love

shoulda kept shooting for changes

shot for success but I was a buck short  of changes

l

Love Lost from Inside The Ultrasound II

 living in your head gets you down and disturbed

wish things went different still searching the right words

Can't justify violence never hit a girl

but you aborted true love before she seen the world

damaged people taught from trauma play wicked games

empty minus the sadness I shoot into my veins

you buried my heart with my baby in the ground

can't hold happiness I can't hold an ultrasound

Taught War to Turn on Me

 charge my own country with treason 

broke my heart and tied my noose without reason

guess my usage reached completion

trained too well to ever see life as a civilian

all I'm asking is one day of peace

a few minutes of comfort and safety 

one night where my nightmares cease

and to feel like no one is trying to kill me 

answered your war call without hesitation 

come home and taught the pain of incarceration

their post war plan predisposed us to failure

soldiers suicide exposes government as a traitor 

back to needle again

after i lost my baby I aint into taking losses
from hopeless romantic to alone and heartless
i aint the one, trust that, my mind is full of monsters
no level i wont take it to,  no matter what the costs is
learn a lesson from a man taught by tragedy
Before you provoke the demons locked inside me

Sober

 whole life ive been fucked up

thinking i could live without you

treating you like my worst enemy

clarity comes the only opposition is me

they said be sober and youll be happy

truth be told aint no happiness left for me

earned and killed for my respect

taxes created a killer,  whatd you expect?

love me during war but after just neglect

traded my life for minimum wage check

with the idea i was sent to protect

my past paints a painful picture

taught by tragedy, agony is my architect  

R.I.P say a prayer

 say a prayer for me say a prayer for me

actually dont waste your breathe on me

not like you ever made life fair for me

R.I.P to all the fucks I gave

just look at the monster you've made

no love for soldiers when wars over

self medicate, pains too real sober 

perfect sucide day

 3 bottles of pills, 5th of whiskey, half a 12 pack of beer

loaded pistol of PTSD, flag in hand my time is near

put my uniform on, cause today's my last day 

perfectly painted my portrait of pain this way

Shayna

 every shot in my vein is another step 

past the pain but that much closer to death

memories haunt me but they call it surviving

living or dying see me still stuck suffering

mistake's help mold you ,just don't let them define you

never leave anyone behind, love see's it through

the frustration is crippling the guilt will blind you

emotionally bleeding, a lonely rendezvous

all I know is hopeless, a feeling I'm used to

promised I'd never leave, but what does a coward do

turns his back on the best friend and love he ever knew

then he preaches about integrity,and staying true

but holds none, cause he turned his back on himself too

honor, integrity,respect everything he knew

all became lost, I lost it all... when I lost you

betrayal is a double edged sword

you can not betray someone 

without betraying yourself too