Remembrance Within The Shadows

Handed no options but I chose to survive,

while all my peers only sat back and judged me.

Maintained some innocence through my mothers eyes,

since these hypocrites ain't ever seen hungry.

They observe me struggle, so they view me as less,

but I continue to overcome all opposition.

Poverty preached pain as I remembered my regrets,

within the shadows and darkness of the unforgiven.

Presents of Hell

The clock strikes twelve
All alone I sit and dwell
Set the pipe on the shelf
And enjoy my personal hell

Permeant problems in temporary places
Hear one mouth but I see two faces
One light, one dark, both racist
One man, one heart, multiple cases

Good intentions but failed promises
Broken home with no college kids
All addicts but different stages
Ask for help but no acknowledges

Life Ain't Always Beautiful

Lost in a lifestyle viewed not far from losing

Maintain morals in a game already confusing 

Hustle or hungry my only type of way

Countless hours spent waiting to  see a brighter day

God won't save me so I take no time to pray 

He sent me an angel but the drugs stole her away

Call me criminal don't matter anyway

Heart holds no guilt I just can't  see any other way

So just lay me down I've lost by a landslide 

Life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful ride

Still American

When I was young life was so wonderful 

To hell and back yet I still feel short of respectable

Criminal charges replace any future seen successful 

Im wearing a warrant so my freedom I feel is doubtful 

Stand me in front of the judge but I did no wrong

Made my own choices but I did no others harm

Where are the benefits of this so called freedom

I fought in the war but have yet to see them

Army of Two

Time wasted away as reality passed me by

My body aches while in my mind I wait to die

You can no longer see tears fall from a dead mans eyes 

My heart has no disguise you give me death when you give me lies

Her broken features taught from crystal creatures

Dated a Dope dealer but more of Pyrex Preacher 

Two lovers lost in life manipulated by outside evil

You will see no nirvana just Kurt and Courtney the sequel 

She might love me but she says I did her wrong

 It's hard to stay strong as an addict lost and lovelorn

Though my watch hands tick my sense of time is withdrawn

I want to escape but I fear I'm already gone 

She preaches a good sermon but I see no changes

Her words spoken as a lover but acts like we distant strangers

Though we may both be guilty she's forever my partner

And as long as she with me I know ain't no one can top her

We are viewed nothing too short of dysfunctional 

Maybe Share some addictions and overly emotional 

Our love maybe twisted and easy to misconstrue 

But together it's ride or die within an army of two

Razor Blade Roses

Broken glass sitting scattered by the night light 

Another day absent a dollar with another useless fight

Blood trickles down my arm from the bruised injection site

Con-fluently her tears run down to her lips fixed on the pipe

So many lies I question if I know who she is anymore

My hearts still shattered much like a pizzo when it hits the floor

I'm so strung out I cant determine whats real now or before

All I know is hell and the painful emotions that I still can't ignore

It's a razor blade romance when she plays games with my emotions

Though I remained faithful, her eyes saw no devotions

I love her to Pluto and back I'd swim across oceans 

Fiction, fairy tale, or fate? love realizes no restrictions 

Serene

A shower of lonely tears fall from an addict
Self evaluation but stuck on one question
What have I become then lost in a life left imperfect
Yearning to love but fulfilling actions that contradict

Shooting venom into my own veins
All visions of happiness look deranged
Am I a stranger if I appear strange,
or just a victim of the way things change

Alone surrounded by people some refer to as fiends
I did you wrong in a world of broken crowns and lost kings
I'd give my life to rewind and change almost everything
but I'm a needle too late just lower my casket into sorrow, so serene

I'll Sleep Without It

Picture me with a pipe in hand just poor and paranoid
Abstaining from the law while hungry hurts so does unemployed
Dirty dancing with the devil left lives lost and people destroyed
We trip on life, to find a fit, to fill a feeling of void

Fate paints a portrait of life's irony as torn and tragic
Scholar to soldier while a criminal sinks into an addict
Told my mama it'll be OK but in my heart I really doubt it
Lost integrity to save her tears I guess I'll just sleep without it

War Is Tragic, Soldier Turns Addict

Sleep sings me no song it only shares a black rose

Nightmares overcome dreams where it rains it pours,

My attempt to inject a cure turned out to be a virus, 

As I try to stay alive or at least open my eyelids 

Suicide would suit me but I leave my life up for fate,

Needled for my last breath would be merely a mistake

War in Iraq to addiction, both colored my life tragic

I'm back at war but with addiction, soldier no more, just another addict.

Memory of Matter

Misery left in red ink for the murder she wrote,

because its my miserable heart left behind and broke.

Rain inside my head brings a teardrop from my eye,

Remembering her parting words, please don't let us die.

She might forget me but I will never forget her,

Or the lessons of love that exposed me as an amateur.

Mistakes don't make a man its the decisions thereafter,

so I'm going back to college to clean up my selfish disaster.

Memories make me smile but don't make time go any faster,

I'll use this time to change so the perfect life is mine to capture.

I'll keep her close like the front wheels of a big green tractor,

on a farm in Tennessee, keeping true to what really matters.