Trauma turns Tragedy (no place for me)

Born into poverty, baptized in beer, grasping a losing hand
addiction destroys a family, they taught pain, and now I understand
infantile memories when mama sold her soul to the dope man
29 crystals created 29 caskets gone without a promised land
souls become lost inside of the hell famous for the Joshua tree
I was far too hopeless, way too young, thinking this ain't no place for me...
*
from high school to just high, I've never changed, still angry, young and poor
respect, god and freedom, all lost concepts that I can't accept anymore
Iraq tattooed me with death, holding a pill bottle and gun, my pains implied
mentally mangled from physical murder, they shot at us first, I just replied
dried in the earth are tears I've cried to pay the cost to be free
pain consuming my mind in a country of war, this ain't no place for me
*
unable to pretend to predict the trauma of post war problems
angry flashbacks with no sleep, I become a prisoner to my symptoms
surrounded with my pain but I'm always alone, soldiers turn victim
no pride, just troubles, I reached for help but I have been failed by the system
dead bodies to battered angels, I won't accept any mercy
I hate the monster that I see in the mirror, this ain't no place for me
*
overdosed on the chaos and rage that's internally imprisoned
from the pain of poverty to a lonely heart, still no one listened
A hungry man turns criminal mind with a moral direction
empathetic heart burned cold from day of enlistment to separation
perceive that home is for heroes then respect turns me lonely
enjoy your star spangled land of the free, turncoats, so it ain't no place for me
*
escaped the desert ghetto, made it out a Nazi work party
never been rich but I have tasted what life is like outside of poverty
punk paying dues then covering the cost of freedom with the army
I ran with devils, shared love with angels both brought an idea of beauty
hero to villain, only my mama love's an outlaw like me
call it whatever you want, heaven or earth, this still ain't no place for me